10 Crazy things I�ve said to my toddler

I have a one-year-old daughter named Aspen. She is sweet and wonderful, but the funny thing about a toddler is they tend to do some really odd things. Sometimes I feel like she�s a car without a steering wheel and a brick on the gas pedal. I have to always keep one eye on the little stinker, and I�ve ended up saying some really crazy things while caring for her. Here are a few examples.

�Get your lollipop off of the toilet!�

�Stop laughing at me while I�m naked.�

�Ugh! Get the plunger out of your mouth.�

�Pooping in the tub isn�t cool, okay? Not cool.�

�Stop biting me! You�re like an animal!�

�Where are your socks? WHERE ARE YOUR SOCKS!!!???�

�If you don�t stop sticking your hand in your poop, I swear I�ll abandon you in the woods.�

�Listen. I love you. But pulling my pants down at Wal-Mart isn�t okay.�

�Sit down! You are going to fall out of the cart and bust your head open and everyone will blame me!�

�You are really lucky that I like you. Now take a nap.�

Clint Edwards was blessed with a charming and spitfire wife, a video game obsessed little boy, a snarky little girl in a Cinderella play dress, and an angry baby girl. When Clint was 9-years-old his father left. With no example of fatherhood, he had to learn how to be a father and husband through trial and error. His work has been featured in Good Morning America,The New York TimesThe Washington PostThe Huffington Post,Scary MommyThe Good Men ProjectFast Company, and elsewhere. He lives in Oregon. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter.   

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